TESTING, LAB TOUR OF SOIL-The breaking news about heavy metal traces on campus SOiL has rocked Clemson University. A soil Spinal Tap identified it as “amplified Led”, commonly known as Metallica, with traces of Deep Purple. The metals were found last Sunday, aptly named Black Sabbath, by student Paige Jimmy. “My lab group and I were studying wildlife behind the Hendrix Center when we found the body of a dead bat
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Heavy Metal Found in Soil
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News
TESTING, LAB TOUR OF SOIL-The breaking news about heavy metal traces on campus SOiL has rocked Clemson University. A soil Spinal Tap identified it as “amplified Led”, commonly known as Metallica, with traces of Deep Purple. The metals were found last Sunday, aptly named Black Sabbath, by student Paige Jimmy. “My lab group and I were studying wildlife behind the Hendrix Center when we found the body of a dead bat
(Read more)
TESTING, LAB TOUR OF SOIL-The breaking news about heavy metal traces on campus SOiL has rocked Clemson University. A soil Spinal Tap identified it as “amplified Led”, commonly known as Metallica, with traces of Deep Purple. The metals were found last Sunday, aptly named Black Sabbath, by student Paige Jimmy. “My lab group and I were studying wildlife behind the Hendrix Center when we found the body of a dead bat
(Read more)
Study Shows 100% of Americans Will Appear on Reality Television by 2011
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News
LAB, COMMUNICATIONS--Last Thursday, the Clemson University Communication Studies Department released the startling results of a three year study. The study, headed by Dr. Lance Martin, was a comprehensive survey off all major network and cable channels. His work revealed that by 2011 every person in America will have been on reality TV. If the definition of 'reality TV' is expanded to include game shows, then the study shows that the saturation date could come as early as June of 2009.
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Descendant of Andrew Pickens Wins Suit Against County
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News
COURTHOUSE, PICKENS COUNTY--Pickens County Judge Hieronymus B. Blind today ruled in favor of Ms. Dot Snice in a lawsuit against Pickens County. In her suit, Ms. Snice, a Clemson resident of the Abel Community, claimed to be the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter of Revolutionary General Andrew Pickens and an African American slave named Mary Jo, owned by Pickens until his death
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Famous Dates in Clemson History, March 27, 1974: University Signs Peace Treaty with Morlocks
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News Archive
CONFERENCE, PRESS--Clemson University President Robert Cook Edwards announced today that the university has entered into a peace agreement with the sub-human Morlocks, ending decades of violent war between the surface dwellers and the underworld. "Today begins a new era of peace between our two worlds," Edwards said at a special press conference. "Now our students can concentrate on their studies. They no longer have to worry about being kidnapped and dragged deep beneath the earth."
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Tiger Mascot Found Offensive
UNION, STUDENT – A formal complaint of discrimination was filed against the University this week by the student organization Tigers for Tigers. “How long must the ignorance last? How long will you tolerate hate? How long will you allow our feline brethren to be paraded around like a circus animals?” Frances Brooks vehemently stated in a letter to President Barker. The long loved tiger mascot has been under heavy fire. The letter calls for a complete and total replacement of the mascot. “We will no longer be victims of the white majority. Who deserves human rights more than animals? Remember, tigers are people too,” wrote Brooks.
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