Due to the threat of legal action from a certain vegetable-related publication, The Almond has been forced to cease all operations, effective immediately.
The head writers for The Almond have banded together to form a new publication, called The Newsmen. You can find this publication here:
For posterity's sake, the majority of The Almond's content can be found here for reference use:
Thank you for reading. Good night, and good luck.